Archive for Dialogue

Here are four ways to ask for feedback. You need to do this in order to discover if your listener has received your message correctly. As you know, many filters get in the way of good communication. Some filters that distort communication are prejudice, bias, preconceived views, assumptions, etc. How will you know if your [...]

To improve dialogue, when you are speaking, pause often to ask for feedback. This will allow you to see how your listener perceives what you say. Perhaps the listener has mixed up some of your content or has not picked up on your emphasis. You will never know this unless you get the listener to [...]

One way to encourage good dialogue is to listen well and draw out the other person through paraphrasing. As I have written in another article, you need to paraphrase the content of the speaker in order to make sure that you have gotten it right. Now I recommend that you sometimes also paraphrase the speaker’s [...]

Paraphrasing is a crucial skill for dialoguing. How do you paraphrase? One way to paraphrase is to simply reflect back the speaker’s own words. You pick out key words you have heard and repeat them.” You are saying that Obama will be a good President because …” This makes the speaker feel heard because you [...]

What sorts of attitudes encourage good dialogue? To improve our ability to dialogue, we must first have good attitudes, then good interpersonal skills. The first good attitude is to stay in between aggression and avoidance. Do not seek to win or beat up on the other person. And do not avoid conflict so much that [...]

Dialogue is not like playing Tennis. Some people mistakenly give themselves credit for being good at dialogue when they are treating it like a game of tennis. They treat the discussion as if they have to size up their “opponent’s” ideas like an incoming tennis ball and hit it back forcefully into a place their [...]

A good analogy for dialogue is that of surfing. The surfer stays on top of big waves and uses their strength to surge forward. The big waves can be analogous to emotions. Emotions can propel us forward or they can suck us downward. Surfers who lose their balance may fall off their surfboard and get [...]