You can empower others in a big way by helping them to see a new story about themselves that embraces their potential. This new story may be a silver lining in a problem-saturated story.

For example, let’s say that a direct report has been late several times to an important meeting. The normal thing to do is to ask her why she has been late. That focuses attention on her problem and may embarrass her or drain away her energy. What if instead you focus on the few times she has made it on time. You might say, “On Wednesday I noticed that you made our meeting on time. May I ask what you did differently on Wednesday than on other days when you have been late?”

As she tells you about Wednesday, you ask follow up questions to get details. You are fashioning a story about the exception to the normal bleak story of lateness. This is an alternate story, a new story of competence. The more she talks about it, the more she will feel empowered to repeat it.

Of course, that was a simple example. In the complexities of work, it is much harder to see the exceptions to bleak stories and focus on them. With persistence, however, you can nearly always find that exceptional time when the person did it right. You need to pull those out and get them talking about what they did differently that time. This can be very empowering for them.

Then be relentlessly optimistic about their potential to expand this new story and replace the old story with the new story of competence. Appreciate every new success. Do not take it for granted that one discussion is enough. They may need continued support and encouragement to break old beliefs and habits and replace them with a new story of competence.

You can improve your ability to “Empower Others by Creating New Stories,” through our individual and Group Executive Coaching (http://www.EmotionallyIntelligentLeadership.com ),
and Self-Study Program (http://www.EagleAlliance.com/services/gec/ssinfo ).