Emotional Intelligence affects how well you express yourself. I have already covered in prior articles how emotional intelligence allows you to have good self-awareness, which is required for good self-management. And social awareness or empathy is needed for good relationship management. These are the building blocks of emotional intelligence that allow you to be skilled at self-expression.

Assuming you are working on increasing these building blocks of emotional intelligence, what are some skills of self-expression? Let’s assume you have some time to reflect on what you want to say. If necessary, in most cases you can assert yourself and ask for some time before you speak. By the way, assertiveness is a necessary part of good self-expression. I have already written several articles on assertiveness, which is also a full Module of my Virtual Workshop Series, Emotional Intelligence for Resilient Leaders and Professionals.

Steps:

Look inside:

1. What are you thinking about your situation and the other person(s)? What do you size up as the pros and cons of things you want to say?

2. What are you feeling? Noticing your emotions is good preparation for an important conversation. Are you angry, afraid, etc?

3. What do you really want as an outcome of your self-expression? What really matters to you in this situation?

Guess what the other person needs:

4. What do you think they are thinking, feeling, wanting?

5. What is important to them in this situation?

Relax yourself before you begin a difficult conversation:

6. Take deep breaths. Meditate.

7. Take a walk.

Express yourself with the other person(s):

8. Describe the situation you want to talk about factually with no judgments.

9. Invite them to discuss it with you. Get their permission to discuss it at this time or make an appointment.

10. Choose from above 1-3 what you believe would be wise to express, and be sure to include no. 3 = What really matters to you in this situation?

11. Ask for their reaction. Ask follow up questions to learn: What are their pros and cons, feelings, needs?

12. Once you know what really matters to them in this situation, invite them to dialogue on how you both can get what you need.

13. Jointly craft solutions that are a win/win.

Would you like to learn this process of emotionally intelligent self-expression for problem solving? You can learn it and get chances to practice it in my Virtual Workshop Series, Emotional Intelligence for Resilient Leaders and Professionals. More information is on my web site, http://www.EagleAlliance.com, where you can contact me via the link, “Contact Us.”