Self-awareness is the foundation of self-management, which is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. Do you want to have more control over your emotions and behavior? Here is a way to start.

First, you need to recognize how valuable it is for you to develop your self-awareness. Consider what Dag Hammarskjold, a famous Secretary General of the UN said, “The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what is happening outside.” Here are some tips on how you can faithfully listen to the voice within.

Take time to reflect on what is going on inside of you. Most people are in such a frenzy that they fail to take much time for reflection. Notice your behaviors and what you think about them. Next notice your feelings. What emotions come up when you behave in X manner? Finally, what needs do you satisfy when you behave in X manner?

Draw a bulls eye with three rings around it. In the outer most ring write Doing. In the next ring in, write Thinking. In the next ring in, write Feeling. In the center bulls eye, write Needs/Values. You need to grow your self-awareness of all 4 areas. I shall touch briefly on each and go into more detail in future articles.

After each crucial conversation or event, look backwards and reflect. If possible take the time to write notes. Journaling is an excellent way to increase your self-awareness.

1. What did you say or do? Can you stay factual? What would a camera have recorded? Improve your power of observation.

2. What did you think then? What do you think about the event now? Note your judgments: good, bad, poor performance, not communicating well, etc. Monitor your thinking.

3. What feelings arose at the time? Were you aware of them then? What emotions arise now in reflecting on the event? Increase your ability to be in touch with your feelings.

4. What needs of yours were met or not met? What values did you honor or ignore? Pondering this will increase your ability to stay aware of what is important for you in each situation.

Whether the conversation or event went well or not, you can learn from it. Ask yourself these questions so that you begin to train yourself to notice more of what is going on inside you and be more self-aware. In this way you can strengthen your self-awareness and improve your self-management for better performance.

Want to improve your self-awareness and self-management? Explore our individual or group Executive Coaching. Our Web-conferencing Virtual-Workshop, Leadership Communication™ has a full Module on Self-Management. For more information call me, Bill Murray, at 919-419-9460 or visit our web site, http://www.EagleAlliance.com .