Emotional Intelligence, Interpersonal Communication Skills, and Leadership Blog

Needs and Values Are Crucial for Self-Management

To improve our self-management, we need to become more aware of our needs and values so that we can act in accordance with them. Often we are only vaguely aware of our needs and clarifying what need is most important at any given moment will energize us. Likewise, when we honor our values with our actions, we feel energized. But when we betray our values, and this comes to light, we feel depressed.

The key is self-awareness. How do you get more aware of your needs and values? The first step is to be able to name them. Our vocabulary is usually small as we have never been taught to pay close attention to needs and values. Churches and other institutions do talk about values, but usually in vague terms. We are urged to love, but what does that mean specifically?

I have developed a lengthy curriculum to spell that out, how to be more loving. I describe many different skills and approaches. This program is available to churches and faith-based groups. A secular version focuses on how to perform better. This is my Web-conferencing Virtual-Workshop, Leadership Communication™. This program has hand outs that list needs and values.

Can you name many needs and values? Here are some categories of them with one example each. Can you add other examples?

Connection – acceptance
Honesty – integrity
Play – humor
Peace – order
Physical well-being – safety
Meaning – clarity
Autonomy – freedom.

I urge you to expand your vocabulary of needs and values. Develop a list above and start using words you don’t normally use so you have more dexterity.

Pay more attention to these needs and values which sustain life and make it worth living. Stay with the positive ones that are life-giving. Avoid negatives such as revenge. As you expand your self-awareness of what really matters to you, you can build a more productive and satisfying life.

When you pause to get clear about what really matters to you right now in this situation, you will get more clarity about what you need to do to get your needs met. This clarity will give you more energy. Your greater motivation will lead to greater results. You get more of what you really want in your life. So boosting your self-awareness is not a superfluous process, but a crucial one.

You can read about or listen to recordings of more ways to increase your self-awareness in my Self-Study Program. And you can actually practice these ways in my Web-conferencing Virtual-Workshop, Leadership Communication™, which has a whole Module on Self-Management. For more information, please call me, Bill Murray, at 919-419-9460 or contact me from my web site link, “Contact Us,” or read about this on our web site’s home page, http://www.EagleAlliance.com.

One comment for this post.

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