We can make better decisions when we separate things into two steps:

1) Becoming aware of our needs and values and,
2) Choosing a strategy to satisfy our needs and honor our values.

We often rush into action and collapse these two steps into one fast reaction. Taking the time to get clear about our needs and values will pay off in crucial situations because we then will create more accurate strategies.

For example, you may say “I need a vacation.” Is your need really clear? Perhaps not if you have fused your need and your strategy. But you jump to actions anyway. You plan a vacation or you moan that you can”t take one now because your team is on a crucial project with a deadline. So you give up on the whole idea. Maybe it would have helped to pause and reflect on “What do I really need?” Maybe the answer is rest and relaxation. Now with that clarity, you can ask yourself, “What would be good strategies to meet that need?” You might get several answers:

1. Take a vacation.
2. Take a day off each week.
3. Take an afternoon off each Friday and a morning each Monday.
4. Take it easy all week end with no work at home.
5. Start several stress reductions activities such as a walk at noon time.

Now you can be resourceful in creating a strategy. Granted that you will not be taking a vacation soon, what ways will work for you to increase your rest and relaxation?

Similarly with values. You will be happier if you first clarify your values before you act. For example, let’s say you told yourself, “I want to make a lot of money.” You concentrated on that value and poured all your energy into your work for years. One of your friends went into teaching and tells you how much she enjoys her work. She likes helping others and having summers off.

Eventually, you begin to feel boxed in. Your high-pressure job does not allow you much leeway for pleasure or altruism such as your friend has. What if you decided to take into account several of your highest values such as altruism, and leisure as well as financial success? Make that step 1, to clarify your deepest values. Then brainstorm strategies for honoring those values.

Since your job does not give you much opportunity to be altruistic, you might change jobs or just demand time for some volunteer work that would polish the company’s community image too. At any rate, you could craft strategies that honor several values, not just one.

I have coached over a hundred people to clarify their values and create more satisfying strategies to living them out. You might benefit too from my coaching. Inquire at 919-419-9460.