Many managers dread having to do the annual performance review of their subordinates. And with good reason. They have had people get mad at them during performance reviews and stay sour for some time. They can usually remember at least one time when they resented the review they received. They remember that it hurt their motivation and sense of loyalty.

I have read many suggestions for improving the performance review process and 15 years ago, I even designed my own one-day training program on that topic. In this article I shall draw from what I currently teach in my Web-conferencing Virtual-Workshop, Leadership Communication™, in the Module on Communication Skills.

When you expect to have a difficult conversation such as many performance reviews are, lead off with factual observations. Tell the person what you saw or heard. What would a camera on the wall have recorded? What facts are recorded about the situation you are describing? If the person did something that led to a poor result, what are the facts about the consequences of the outcome?

Sounds too simple? Why am I wasting your time? Start monitoring how you open up difficult conversations. My Virtual-workshop participants start out to practice this advice and immediately notice that they would normally lead off with their conclusions. They start talking about how the person is not a team player or is not trying hard enough, does not have their heart in it, etc. They realize that starting off with a conclusion is very common. The first thing the other person hears is an evaluation of them.

If you are sure you never do this, then you do not need to read any further. For the rest of you, start to notice how often you do this starting a conversation with your evaluation, your judgments. This noticing will help you shift toward my recommendation of starting with your observations.

Remember the last time you started a difficult conversation with your judgments about the person or a time when someone else did this to you. What happened? The person being judged usually gets defensive. If they are your subordinate, they will pretend to be listening, but in reality they have checked into a state of defensiveness where they are cooking up their replies that will set you straight. The conversation is off to a bad start. It will be hard to correct this.

Now suppose that you had started this conversation with factual, actual observations about the situation that concerns you? Then you ask them if they are willing to discuss this situation now? Is this a good time for them? You are seeing if they are ready for the type of conversation you need to have. Speaking factually helps them hear you.

Then you can ask them for their views of the situation. Maybe you have overlooked something. If not, maybe you can ask them to elaborate on the poor outcome of their actions. Let them do a self-evaluation so to speak. That is easier on their ego than you laying on your negative evaluations on them, especially if you tend to do that up front.

In summary, pay attention to speaking in ways the other person can hear. Starting with factual observations is one way.

For other ways, why not explore our Web-conferencing Virtual-Workshop series, Leadership Communication™?