How to handle crucial conversations? Here are some steps to take.

1) If you know you must have a crucial conversation, prepare for it. When is it worth the time to prepare? If you have these three items of a crucial conversation:

- When an important issue is involved.
- The other person or group has a different view from yours.
- The other person may have a reaction and get emotionally high strung.

If the other person confronts you suddenly so that you do not have time to prepare, you need to be able to recognize these three items quickly. Then you may choose to ask for a delay and make an appointment to talk about this later. This gives you time to prepare.

2) Look inside yourself and get very clear on what you really want. What outcome of this important issue is your goal? Why? What really matters to you here? Do not be satisfied with your first answer. Dig deeper, down to your core values. You may or may not want to express your core values to the other person, but you must be clear about them.

3) Guess what really matters to the other person. This prepares you for what they may say. Even if you disagree strongly, try to have empathy. Ask yourself, “What really matters to them in this situation?”

4) Start the conversation with a factual statement about the issue. Stay away from any evaluations that may be inflammatory.

5) Invite them into a win/win approach. Say you are interested in finding a solution that will give both of you most of what you want. This may require some creative collaboration. Ask, are they willing to do this?

6) Be assertive, not aggressive or avoiding.

7) Use good communication skills.

Taking these steps will give you a good chance of having a good outcome for your crucial conversation.

Want more detailed information on how to handle crucial conversations? Learn about our Web-conferencing Virtual-Workshop, Leadership Communication™. Go to www.EmotionallyIntelligentLeadership.com and scroll down.