In my neighbor’s yard is a dog that used to jump over their fence and roam. Then they put an electric fence around the inside of their wood fence. I watched the dog learn about this electric fence. Whenever he went over the electric invisible line, he got shocked and jumped back with a whimper. In a few days he never ventured over the invisible electric fence. His fence jumping days were over.

Some months later, my neighbor took down the electric fence to remove the chance that his toddler might get shocked. The dog continues to this day to pace back and forth, observing the invisible line. He never ventures over it. He never experiments to see if the electric fence is still there.

Observing this out my window, makes me wonder if we humans do the same thing. Some constraint stops us from doing what we like. Then the constraint disappears, but we never notice our new freedom.

Can you think of examples of observing constraints that no longer exist?

A friend of mine works for a company that has always had an open and trusting culture. They talk things over and make quick decisions verbally. Her company merged with another company that has a guarded and cover your fanny culture. Her new colleagues write endless emails to document their reasons for every move.

She complains that it is very hard to get them to make a decision and move on anything because they are so busy writing to cover their fannies. They are afraid to make decisions that might turn out to tarnish their image.

My friend notes that they could loosen up in the new merged company. Their old culture is being replaced by a more open culture. But they don’t notice or believe it. They continue to observe their old constraints about being cautious and documenting every detail before they move.

Are there any cases where you are being too cautious? Are you observing old constraints that no longer exist? For example, a prior boss or authority figure used to cut you down if you ventured to make an assertion with gusto. You learned to be circumspect, humble in your expressions. But now you have a boss who tells you to speak up, assert yourself. Can you make the shift?

I once coached a woman to do exactly that, speak up more often in meetings with vigor. Her boss paid me to coach her to stand up more to the men who tried to put her down. It took her a while to see that the invisible electric fence was no longer there. She started to get more assertive and out argue the men. Her boss liked this and promoted her to a position where she supervised some of these men.