When I was a student at Harvard Business School, our professors kept telling us that the technical things we were learning would be obsolete in no time at all. They said what they were really interested in teaching us was how to make good decisions.

HBS Professors emphasized that the case method was an excellent tool for improving decision making. It was excellent because it forced us to practice making decisions, from the point of view of executives. Now that I specialize in emotional intelligence, I can see even more clearly the importance of practicing to learn any new skill. Practice is a key component to improving emotional intelligence.

Another thing that today’s understanding of emotional intelligence tells us is that we need to factor in the emotional component of decisions. Most of us do not have a method for doing that. In fact at HBS they kept warning us not to trust a gut feel. Go by the numbers. Of course, there is merit to that warning, but we can learn how to use our emotions constructively in making decisions.

HBS knows this. In l998 they started publishing HBR articles by Daniel Goleman on emotional intelligence for leaders and have continued with articles and books. Goleman urges us to be aware of our emotions and those of others and to use them constructively to get the best results. How can you do this? My Tips are an effort to give you suggestions. Here a one more and others will follow on decision making.

The first step in decision making is to get the main facts straight. The problem is that emotions get attached to the facts, ours and other peoples. Like a good detective, we have to keep asking questions to see the emotional components and get down to the real facts.

For example, if a direct report says his department needs a new computer system, he will probably give you a cost/benefit analysis. Fine, you have the facts. Now look into the possible emotional components.

If you look inside yourself, what emotions arise when he proposes this expenditure? Frustration and annoyance at too much spending? Or on the other side, gratefulness for foresight and his taking the initiative?

Your emotions are probably encapsulated in “stories.” For example, “He is just emotionally attached to the idea that he must have the very latest, cutting edge software.” We sometimes kid guys that they just want to have the latest toys. Or on the other side, “He is so good at finding the latest approaches.” If you notice your own stories, you can also see your emotions more clearly.

Think you can just make decisions without any stories or emotions? You may be confusing two things. Yes, you can make decisions without showing emotion. But you probably have it underneath, operating quietly. The trick is to notice it and take it into account. I shall talk more about how to do this in another Tip.

Lastly, notice any emotions the other person is having. For example, is your direct report really excited and committed to his proposal? If yes, how emotionally committed? If not, maybe he just thinks you expect to receive a few of this type of proposals and he is giving you one to keep you happy. What if you mistake this situation and say “Yes” to the proposal just to keep him happy. Then we have two people each guessing wrongly what the other really wants and colluding with an inferior decision.

So talking about the level of enthusiasm and commitment is an essential emotional topic. There are many others as you already know if you reflect on how good decisions are made. Of course, these are simple illustrations. But stories and emotional attachments to the facts can be very complex and hard to discover. It will pay off to put some time into this process of discovering and clarifying emotions.

In summary, to make better decision, in addition to the numbers, pay attention to the emotions. To get help with doing this, explore my individual or small-group Executive Coaching by calling me, Bill Murray, at 919-419-9460.